call HART crazy

Hallelujah.

Moldy Ed has come out of mothballs and is running in Selkirk-Interlake, my own personal riding. After being out of office for nearly thirty years, he will try to get elected as an MP. Have you run out of money or common sense? Perhaps need another government income. Two pensions are not enough?

Might as well go for the triple crown with yesteryears man……….. Give me a break. How will they get that old man smell out of the Commons? Maybe he should try to get a place in the most expensive nursing home in the country, the Senate.
At least they are used to the smell there.

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This year my Christmas wish is simple, however probably unattainable……Replace our current federal government. The current polls show that we will have a return of a minority Liberal parliament. To this I say, shame on all you voters who would allow this. After ad scam, the helicopter fiasco, Toronto airport screw up, gun registry, private jet purchases, and general disrespect for Canadians, they should be in the single digits in the polls. When the conservatives under Mulroney-who were no where near as bad as this lot- got cocky, we rightfully kicked their asses out of power. Have some Canadian voters become so ineffectual or gutless that they refuse to protect themselves from this version of political sodomy? Do you somehow enjoy being abused? Is this a case of battered voter syndrome? Have some balls people and kick the bums out. Even if you don’t want to vote for Harper, you can still vote for Smiling Jack, The Green Party, independents or even refuse your vote by marking it as such. Any one of these would send a clear message that corruption in Canada will not be tolerated. Anything less and we become a frozen banana republic, and yes, the USA’s retarded cousin.

Merry Christmas to all non Liberal voters. More →

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It ’s been a while since I rambled on, so I figured that I had better list some things that have annoyed me in the last little while, in no particular order.

Lets start with crafts.
Crafts were invented so that some no talent schmuck could feel that he was actually creating something worth while. It’s hard to believe that one day someone actually thought of taking some scrap wood, slopping some paint on it ,adding a tasteless quote, and hanging it on the wall. Just what the world needed, another piece of crap. To the credit of these schmucks is the fact that there are people even lower on the evolutionary ladder who will buy this very same crap, paying large sums of money in the process, for the right to exercise their stupidity. No wonder the Liberals are still in power.

The other day I was at Wally world, waiting for the wife to finish shopping. I was sitting in my vehicle, on the parking lot observing the other customers. A lady pulled up in a van looking for a parking spot. She spied a vehicle which looked like it may leave sometime before the new year, and therefore decided that she would stop and wait for the vehicle to leave so that she could park there. Well she sits there holding up traffic for about two minutes until the other car vacates the spot. Sounds reasonable if parking spots were at a premium, you say.
Exactly two stalls further down was an empty parking lot with at least one hundred free stalls.
Some people are alive just because it’s illegal to kill them.

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After a hard day of cutting firewood in the rain, the family and I went for supper at Boston Pizza. The meal was good, however somewhat pricey, considering that it was just pizza and not a gourmands delight. I suspect they have to pay Howie Mandell for those annoying ads, seeing he can’t find any other work. That however is not the focus of todays observation of life.

While we were having our meal I observed and heard on three separate occasions (and this is not isolated to only Boston Pizza), the assembling of the staff and the singing of happy birthday to some unfortunate customer. Upon reflection of this I pondered the state of mind of the server who has to sing this ditty numerous times each shift. Poor, poor soul. Even poorer is the loser to whom the song is directed or the smutz who requested the staff to do so. I suspect that most of the requests come from friends or loved ones who want to embarass the birthday boy or girl and cannot come up with an original idea of how to do so. So they request the staff to sing Happy Birthday and pat themselves on the back for coming up with something so cunning and devious. Let me give you some advice. If you want to embarass your buddy, stand up and sing it yourself or better yet dance on the table and do a strip tease. You should probably wait until after the meal and before you pay to do the striptease, as this will surely get you an invitation to vacate the premises. Believe me, I know how to get kicked out of places. At any rate this will show some originality, and will relieve the servers from from tedium of performing like singing hoars a dozen times a night.

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We were blessed this week by a visit from the new Governor General, who blew into the heartland to mingle with the peasants. She touched everyone’s heart by kissing babies, waxing vaguely on mom and apple pie issues, and generally putting on a show like she’s just one of us. Madame, you may be a lot of things, but one thing I will guarantee, you are not one of us.

Your entire working life seems to be involved with universities, government or the CBC. Although teaching is a noble profession and working as a reporter for CBC could be and probably is an interesting occupation, I’m afraid that neither position has exposed you to the daily grind of the average Canadian, who struggles to pay the mortgage, educate and raise kids etc, etc.

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His majesty Paul Martin has decreed that a change must be made to the Canadian version of Monopoly. To more accurately reflect Canadian values it has been decided that the get out of jail free card will be replaced with a Liberal membership card. It will still have the same value of the original card, but will also entitle the bearer to kickbacks, severance packages, patronage appointments and the right to steal from the other players. The card does not have to be given up unless the bearer dies and then it can be passed on to a friend or relative. What a country.

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Why does society feel obliged to come up with new names to describe old things? Case in point: A friend was over and she was describing the colour of a room which she had seen. She said it was toupe. What the hell is taupe and how exactly do you spell it? I checked on the internet and found no definitive source. And exactly what colour is it? I asked four different people and got five different answers. Again I checked online and it appears that taupe is a light purple. So what is the matter with calling it light purple? Everyone would know instantly what was meant and the confusion would be eliminated. When I went to school so many, many years ago and our grade one teacher went through the colours with us, I distinctly remember that there was no taupe. There was also no magenta, chartruse, azure, teal or cyan. Somehow we got through life without these colours. And life was good. Also this computer is ticking me off because it keeps telling me that I am spelling colour wrong. Probably thinks that I’m an American. Anyway, I digress. I don’t know of a single man(unless he’s a sissy) who would have a clue as to what any if these new colours are. When my friend Trapper the redneck bought a new truck and I asked him the colour, he did not say it was a muted teal with a crimson texture, he said correctly that it was puke green with rust all over. Now these are descriptions that a man can visualize. So please, desist with the designer crap lingo and go back to words that mean something.

Society also comes up with new words or phrases in order to be politically correct. Political correctness is also another thing which I despise but that’s for another time. Take for example descriptions for blacks in North America. When I grew up in the sixties they were referred to as negros. In the area which I was raised there were no negros and I can remember on the odd occasion when I saw one, I would say to my mother, “there’s a negro” and she would quickly shush me up, as if the person didn’t know that they were black. Anyways they later started to refer to them as coloureds, then blacks, then Afro Americans and now I believe the correct term is People of Colour.
Also entering into the lexicon are the terms that have to be changed because we are scared of offending radical feminists. Thus chairman was changed to chairperson and now just chair. Fireman was changed to fire fighter, policeman to police officer, fisherman to fisher and predictably in another ten years to just fish. Then we will have to rename what lives in the ocean in order that we don’t offend the land based fish. Perhaps we could call them waterfish. Where does the stupidity end? I despise any kind of prejudice be it based on colour, sex, language or whatever. But creating new buzzwords every year in order to show enlightenment is moronic. Where do these words come from? My guess is from the eggheads at the liberal universities that dominate our country. They develop these words in order to differentiate themselves from the huddled masses-you and me-and these phrases are picked up upon by the media-who also want to be differentiated from the huddled masses. In time after being force fed ad nauseum by the media, the huddled masses begin to talk like the eggheads. This in turn starts the viscous cycle all over again and the eggheads are forced to invent new words. And life goes on.

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