It has been known for a good many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities.
Now after “original and proprietary” research the results are in:
Removing her clothes:
With her consent……………..12 calories
Without her consent…………..2,187 calories
Opening her bra:
With both hands……………..8 calories
With one hand……………….12 calories
With your teeth……………..485 calories
Putting on a condom:
With an erection…………….6 calories
Without an erection………….3,315 calories
Preliminaries:
Trying to find the clitoris…….8 calories
Trying to find the G spot………4,092 calories
Positions:
Missionary……………………12 calories
69 lying down…………………78 calories
69 standing up………………..812 calories
Wheelbarrow…………………..216 calories
Doggy style…………………..326 calories
Italian chandelier…………….2,912 calories
Orgasms:
Real…………………………112 calories
Fake…………………………1,315 calories
Post orgasm:
Lying in bed hugging……………18 calories
Getting up immediately………….36 calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..816 calories
Getting a second erection:
If you are:
20-29 years…………………….36 calories
30-39 years…………………….80 calories
40-49 years…………………….124 calories
50-59 years…………………….1,972 calories
60-69 years…………………….7,916 calories
70 and over…………………….Results are still pending
Dressing afterwards:
Calmly………………………….32 calories
In a hurry………………………98 calories
With her father knocking at the door…5,218 calories
With your wife knocking at the door….13,521 calories
* Results may vary
Did you get your workout today?
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