call HART crazy .. but
SUMMER CLASSES AT THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. HERE ARE THE DESCRIPTIONS FOR EACH OF THE 14 SUMMER CLASSES BEING OFFERED TO BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.
Summer Classes For Women
Class 1
* Up in Winter, Down in Summer — How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..
Class 2
* Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours? — Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
* Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping? — Group Debate. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
* Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase — Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
* Curling Irons – Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? — Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
* How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program — Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
* Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos? — Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
* Health Watch – They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT! — Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
* I Was Wrong and He Was Right! — Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
* How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim. — Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
* Learning to Live – How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield. – Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
* How to Shop by Yourself. — Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
* How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy – Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed. — Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
* The Stove/Oven – What It Is and How It Is Used. — Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Summer Classes For Men
Class 1
* How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
* The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself? — Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.
Class 3
* Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? — Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
* Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. — Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
* After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? — Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
* Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. — Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
* Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. – Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
* Health Watch – Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. — Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
* Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
* Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? — Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
* Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. —
Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
* How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion — Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
* How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late. — Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
* The Stove/Oven – What It Is and How It Is Used. — Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Very funny. I think most of us could benefit from these classes.
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and the classes for the ‘young adults’.
1. Just because you are off school does not mean your allowance will increase. – why this parental logic is morally corrupt
2. Sleeping through anything – You get in at 3 and your dad wakes up at 6 to go to work. Tools and tips to not let him bother you.
3. Parents are designated drivers – Or ‘how to get them to buy you a car’.
Each class is held at the same time as parent classes, next to the pool and with a keg. Bring a date.
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Thanks for the Stumbletron
This comment was originally posted on Anthony McCune, Writer, Marketing and PR Practitioner, Photographer, Activist,
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