Current Net-Worth In The Front Pant Pocket Theory

call HART crazy … but

Meet HART’s Wallet:

I keep it always in my front left pocket. It’s measurements are as follows:

* 4″ height
* 2-1/2″ wide
* 1-1/4″ thick full of credit cards and other useless stuff

Other useless stuff might include:

* Toothpicks
* Bandaid
* Debit card and credit card receipts
* Driver’s license
* A spare door key for my car (actually this is a useful thing to have)
* Discount Cards (Office Depot Advantage, Safeway Club, Air Miles, etc)
* Membership cards
* Buy 10-Get 1 Free (coffee, dog grooming, ice cream, etc)
* Business cards

For the record, I keep all of my cash money (bills only) in my front right pocket, secured by small Acco binding clips . If I pay for items by cash, I keep the cash receipts in the middle of my cash bills, along with hopeful to-be Lotto 6/49 winning tickets.

Also for the record, I keep all of my cash coins in my left pocket of my Jacket, to support my Tim Hortons’ Drive Thru Fetish.

I stopped putting a wallet in my back right pocket when I got out of University many moons ago, and find that this way is the best way for me to keep everything that I hold dear … (my cash and credit and banking cards) close to me and easily reachable.

There are downfalls to having all your “eggs” (credit cards) in one basket (pocket) however. There is only one flaw to my master plan of maintaining my Current Net-Worth In The Front Pant Pocket Theory .. (I mean all of my money and credit cards you dirty minds you).

(Q) What happens to 50 Credit Cards and Banking Cards and Other Cards when they are mashed into 12 plastic pockets and placed in a 1-1/4″ thick credit card holder and kept in your front left pocket all of the time?

(A) Well .. some credit cards rub together and de-magnetize. That’s what!

CASE – IN – POINT

Today, I needed some cash to fill my gas tank. I have been filling up my tank at Safeway lately, occasionally using their coupons to double up the 3.5 cent savings to 7.0 cents off the listed price. I prefer to pay cash because I do not want to pay for gas on my credit cards. I was driving on the way, and rather than crossing the street to go to my bank, (TDCT) I kept on my right of the street and pulled into another bank (BNS) because their Drive-Thru was empty. I proceeded to take about $100 out of my account, when there was problems reading the stripe. It would not accept my card. If you have ever been in a line-up at a place and your card doesn’t work, you know how that feels. Of course, if there are insufficient funds on the card or in your account, it’s doubly worse, but this was not the case.

I didn’t forget my password. I did have money in my account. The only thing was that I couldn’t log onto that damn machine!

So, I got out my OTHER debit card .. the one that I always keep some money in, but I do not have any overdraft. Today, there was $21.32 in there. Enough for gas! I’ll just get $20.00 and get some gas, stop back at Tim Horton’s and go back home.

Well…. NOW I HAD INSUFFICIENT FUNDS! WHAT ? ? ? ?

That stupid fucking bank wanted to charge me $1.50 for banking at their machine and only allows $20.00 withdrawals at a time.

I just don’t get it with these banks. Don’t they make enough money? At the T.D. Canada Trust, where I bank, I am paying a flat fee for (I think) unlimited interac and web transactions. I believe if I bank at the teller I have 2 or 3 freebies and then they charge me a certain fee. If I bank at another branch or other bank, they are also charging me something, because my ‘Other Fees’ goes up at the end of the month when I do this. I’m not sure I agree with this banking policy. Sure, Scotiabank has to maintain their machines, stock their machines with cash and paper record, but it goes the same with people who bank at BNS who use TDCT interac machines. If your bank is already penalizing you for banking at another bank, shouldn’t the bank that’s pulling you away from your competing bank .. want to woo you and give you free banking service?

Sure, there’s the argument – that they charge their customers and if they give non-customers free banking services, why would you bother joining? Okay. Touche! I don’t care. There’s just too many banking charges for this type of transaction.

Well, I just cancelled the transaction and went to turn left and go across the street to my bank, and guess what .. my first card WORKED in the machine, and because it’s my bank – I saved $1.50.

Of course, that took me 25 minutes out of my day that I could have charge 10 times that in billing and fees. Not to mention, how many Coffee’s I could have drank at that time.

So, what’s your point now HART?

No point … it was just one of those days today … I also did other stuff today that was quite annoying .. but banks are evil and it wasn’t the extra service fee that pissed me off today – it was that my BANK CARD wouldn’t work in the competitor’s machine, but did at my own bank. How annoying is that?